has loved. Her friends used to ask her why she looked very happy all time. Even though her parents limited her behavior or activities because of social bias, she accepted those controls because she understood her parents really loved her. Also, her parents did everything for her, such as taking care of her, cooking for her and making decisions for her. She complied with what her parents expected. She had never left home before she came to America. When she came to America, culture shock obviously influenced her self-concept, self-esteem, and self-presentation.
In Chinese culture, she was taught to be interdependent. She had to care not only about herself but also about the people who were around her, for example parents, siblings, and friends, even neighbors. However, in American society, she noticed that everyone was very independent, and minded his or her own business, and nobody cared about one another. Because she did not want to get hurt, she knew that she had to make some changes. In her self-concept, she changed her interdependent view to an independent view.
Using a different language, the major reason for culture shock, really injured her self-esteem. Shen-Lan graduated from a well-known university in Taiwan, and she felt proud of that. When she came to America, she was supposed to be good at English, but she was not. After this realization, she tried to study hard in English to match her standards. However, she had studied English for one year, yet she did not improve greatly. She lacked self-confidence to speak English, so her self-esteem decreased.
The change in self-concept and self-esteem was reflected in her self-presentation. Because Shen-Lan wanted to become independent, and she was afraid that she disturbed others with her personal problems, so she began to isolate herself. For English, she did not give up because of her high goal to meet her own and the expectations of others. She tried to avoid talking to her friends who speak the same language though she felt lonesome. She recognized and learned the new cultural rules and expressed it through a different self-presentation.
The three social self-components of Shen-Lan: self-concept, self-esteem, and self-presentation were influenced by culture shock. Shen-Lan tried to be independent, became aware of her self-esteem, and learned American behavior. Right now, she starts to think about having a pet. Can she become an American woman?
(Source://www.umaine.edu/iei/student_life/1995_web_projects/shu-min_liu/essayshu-min.html)
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Part Five Modes of Thinking
讨论题
1．We know that Westerners tend to distinguish mind from body, people from nature, and God from humankind, while Chinese are used to looking at the world as a whole unit. Now compare the Western Medicine and the traditional Chinese Medicine. Are there any differences? Do the differences reflect to some extent different world views? If yes, try to name these two world views.
Part Six Interpersonal Relationship
一、 讨论题
1. Compare the following two cases about family relations and try to find out differences between them.
A. An Iranian student who had earned a doctorate in the United States returned home to teach in an Iranian university. He was offered positions at three universities, and had to decide which one to accept. An American friend who was visiting him in Iran noticed that the man‘s older bother had accompanied him to all the interviews at the universities, and she asked him about it. The man, who was nearly 40, explained that he would follow the advice of his brother in choosing the position. ―But why?‖ asked the American in amazement. ―Oh,‖ replied the Iranian, ―because he is the head of the family now, and I must do whatever he thinks will be best for the family.‖ B. John and Jane have two daughters. John works for a large corporation and his wife is an independent contractor. They own a big house and lead a comfortable upper middle-class life. By the time their elder daughter turned 21, John and Jane found an apartment and moved her out. This daughter now goes to college and works part-time as a waitress at a local restaurant. John told me that he didn‘t like his daughter‘s job but she assured him that it is temporary. She promised that once she finished her undergraduate courses, she would found a better job and support herself through graduate programs. Although she still depends on john and Jane for her college education, she says staying in her parent‘s house is impossible. She wants to be on her own. Having her own space with an income from her own work makes her feel independent. John and Jane are proud of what they did. They believe that all parents should let their children go out on their own once they are ready. As their second daughter is approaching her 17th birthday. John and his wife are preparing themselves to face it when the day comes for her to leave home.
When we talked about the empty nest, Jane said, ―It is something hard for me to think about the change and our future, but that‘s the way it is. They are both grown-ups now and they should be on their own.‖
―They probably also have had enough from our no-this-no-that kind of talks too, and can‘t wait to get out of the house, ‖ John said.
Then I asked whether they would some day move in with their daughters as they grow older, they both said no. Before they were too old or too sick to take care of themselves, they said, they also wanted to be independent from their children! And if,
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unfortunately, they needed special care, they would move into senior homes rather than living with their daughters and grandchildren. ―There would be too much interference into our own way of life,‖ they said.
2. A famous Chinese actress married a German. One day when she was acting, her husband was there watching, saying again and again that she was the best actress. The actress‘ colleagues present asked her afterwards to tell her husband not to praise his own wife like that in public. On learning this, the German wondered what he did wrong.
Once the actress and her husband were talking with their Chinese friends at a party. Her husband politely praised a Chinese lady on her beauty. The lady‘s husband said that his wife was moderately good looking when young, but now she was old and no longer so. The lady nodded in agreement with a smile. The actress‘ husband was surprised. Discuss why the German was confused in the first situation and surprised in the second.
3. Now study the following statements and think how you would respond to each of them. Discuss in small groups.
1) Let‘s get together soon.
2) I haven‘t seen you for a long time. You must come round for dinner sometimes.
3) It‘s good seeing you. I‘ll invite you to tea later.
4) I‘m going to give a party this weekend. Come if you like. 5) How about joining us for dinner this Friday night?
6) If an American friend of yours suggests you have lunch with him, you might simply say something like this, ―I‘m afraid it‘ll have to be some place inexpensive, as I have very little money.‖ Your friend may say, ―O.K., I‘ll meet you at McDonald‘s.‖ Who do you think would pay for the meal?
4. The following is what an American wrote of a Chinese banquet (from Moser, 2000) The first six or seven dishes seemed to fill the table to overflowing, with plates precariously wedged one on top of another. With my American-bred expectations, I assumed this vast first wave of food was surely the total number of dishes to be served, and I dug in greedily, dazzled by the variety and sheer quantity. The Chinese guests around me, however, had a different reaction. They must not be very hungry,‖ I thought with a shrug, and continued my feast.
To my surprise, more dishes soon were piled on top of the already mountainous stack. Plus two or three soups, side dishes, desserts, and delicacies of various kinds, all seemingly enough to feed the entire People‘ Liberation Army. No wonder my fellow guests had merely sampled a few bites of each dish; they knew very well that these first few items were just the tip of a titanic culinary iceberg. I, however, was so stuffed after the first fifteen minutes that I could only watch in a bloated stupor as the remainder of the banquet took its course.
Can you see some characteristics of the Chinese way of entertaining guests to
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dinner from the above account?
5. An American went to a Chinese home. He was offered some tea. Just when the first cup was about to finish, more tea was added. The visitor drank the second cup. Then the cup was filled the third time. Then he drank it, then...until the visitor was quite full. Why?
二、分析、解答题
1. Read the case (taken from Zanger, 1985) and answer the questions below.
Jose and Jim worked together in a restaurant. They had become friendly because both of them were also studying. Jim was studying business, and Jose was taking English classes and planned to study engineering.
One day, as they were leaving work, Jim asked Jose, ―Jose, I need a favor. I have to go over to school, and I‘m out of money. Could you lend me a dollar so I can take the bus over there and then get home? I‘ll pay you back tomorrow.‖
―Sure, Jim. No problem. You don‘t have to pay me back,‖ said Jose, as he handed Jim a dollar.
As soon as he got out to work the next day, Jim went over to Jose and handed him a dollar, saying, ― Thanks, Jose. I really appreciated this last night. It sure was too cold to walk.‖
―Forget it,‖ said Jose, as he handed Jim back his dollar.
―Oh, no, I insist. I don‘t want to take advantage of a friend. What if I need to borrow money again sometime? If I didn‘t pay you back now, I would feel wrong asking to borrow money again,‖ said Jim, as he put the dollar into Jose‘s shirt pocket. Jose answered, ―But that‘s what friends are for. In Spanish, We have a saying, ?today for you, tomorrow for me.‘ If you pay me back, I will feel that I won‘t be able to ask you for money when I need it. I will feel like you are closing the door on me, that there is no trust between us. I thought we were friends. How can I take the money?‖ Jose handed back the dollar.
―But I won‘t feel right if you don‘t take it!‖ said Jim. Questions:
1) Why did Jim insist on returning the dollar to Jose? 2) Why did Jose not want to take it?
3) Do you think that their attitudes are cultural?
4) What cultural values are reflected in Jim‘s and Jose‘s attitudes? 5) Would you be more similar to Jim or to Jose in the same situation?
2. Read the case story (from Zanger, 1985) concerning different attitudes towards family members and relatives, and answer the questions below.
Rosa (Mexican--American) and Annie (American) shared a small dormitory room at a university. They liked each other very much and got along well until a problem came up.
One day, Rosa told Annie, ―My second cousin wants to come and see the university. She might want to go to school here next year. Do you mind if she stays with us while she visits?‖
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