明显地，或看来如此，我们只要把我们坚强不屈的意志力运用到生活中去，这样迟早我们的命运将掌握在自己的手中。
A self-deception? Yes, in large part. But also a most useful modus operandi at this stage. For if we didn’t believe in the omnipotent force of our intelligence, if we were not convinced that we could will ourselves into being whatever kind of persons we wish to be, it wouldn’t make much sense to try. Doubts immobilize. Believing that we are independent and competent enough to master the external tasks constantly fortifies us in our attempts to become so.
这难道是自欺欺人么？是的，很大程度上是如此。但也是在这阶段的一种非常有益的做法。因为如果我们不相信我们的才智具有无所不能的力量，如果我们不是深信我们能凭意志使自己成为任何理想中的人物，那么尝试便没有什么意义了。疑虑会使你裹足不前。相信我们的独立性和才干足以让我们去驾驭外部世界的各种事务，这种信念在我们尝试着去这样做时不断地给予我们力量。 One True Course in Life 一条正确的人生道路
If and when we feel we have made a friend of the real world and are about to fix our course, a tone of optimism and vitality propels us forward in giant steps. We are most brimming with aliveness when we are just about to gain a solid form. This applies throughout life and to the different forms we may take. But upon discovering our very first independent form, we may assume it is the forever one and cling to it obstinately. 如果并且当我们感到能够与现实世界达成融洽并且即将确定我们的人生道路的时候，乐观精神和勃勃生机会推动我们大步前进。在我们即将形成自己的生活模式的时候，我们总是洋溢着生机。这种情况适用于整个人生，也适用于我们所选择的不同的生活模式。但是一旦我们第一次找到自己独立的生活模式时，我们可能认为这个模式将一成不变并将执着地固守着这一模式。
That is why people in their twenties commonly insist what they are doing is the one true course in life. Any suggestion that we are like our parents raises our hackles. What if we were to find out the truth? That the parental figures, unknowingly internalized as our guardians, provoke the very feelings of safety that allow us to dare all these great firsts of the twenties. They are also the inner dictators that hold us back.
这就是为什么人们在他们20多岁时普遍地坚信他们所选择的是一条唯一正确的人生道路。任何说我们像父母亲的暗示都会激怒我们。如果我们发现了事实真相会怎么样呢？父母的形象，潜移默化中已成为我们生活的向导，使我们产生安全感，使我们敢于在20多岁时尝试所有那些了不起的第一次。父母的形象同时也是在我们内心深处告诫我们不要去冒险的发号施令者。
To tell such a thing to most 25-year-olds will call forth howls of denial. This is precisely the interior reality from which each of us at this stage is trying to make a break. We are utterly convinced that all our notions spring full blown, as if by magic, from our own unique selves. 对大多数25岁的人说这些将会招来他们的大声否认。这正是我们内心世界的真实反映，我们中每一个人在这个阶段都试图与之决裂。我们深信，我们所有的观念都是一蹴而就般形成的，仿佛具有魔力一样，源于我们独一无二的自我。
At all costs, any parts of our personality that might interfere with our chosen “one true course in life” must for the time being be buried. We cannot, will not, dare not know how strongly we are influenced by the deep tugs of the past, by identifications with our parents and the defense mechanisms we learned in childhood. Indeed, if there is a blemish on our behavior or something annoying about the one we love, this is the age when we are certain all that’s needed is to have it pointed out.
不管怎么样，我们个性中任何可能影响我们选择“一条正确人生道路”的方面都将暂时被抹杀。我们不能、不愿而且也不敢去弄清我们在多大程度上受到过去的影响：即与父母的同一性以及我们在童年时代所学会的防御机制。事实上，如果我们行为有什么瑕疵或者我们所爱的人有什么令人烦恼的地方，这个年纪我们确信所需要做的一切就是把那一点指出来。
“If there’s something about me you don’t like, just tell me,” says the newlywed anxious to please. “I’ll change it.” If he orshe is not forthcoming with such an offer, the other one is determined to change it for the partner. “He may drink a little too much now,” the bride confides to her friend, “but I’ll reform him.”
“如果我有什么让你感到讨厌，告诉我好了，”急于取悦对方的新婚夫妇会这样说。“我会改的。”如果她或者他没有这样提出来，另外一方也会为了伴侣而下决心将其改变。“他也许喝得多了一点，”新娘向她的朋友倾诉，“但我会改变他。”
Examination of the internal forces acting upon us will resume III the thirties, when we are more stabilized externally. Well into our forties, we will still be dredging up exactly those suppressed parts we are now making every effort to ignore.
对于在我们身上发挥作用的内在力量所作的审视到了30多岁时会重新开始，那时我们在外部世界的生活已经更为稳定。而到了40多岁，我们仍在发掘的恰是那些我们现在正尽力忽略的被抑制的内在的个性。 2012-04-13 23:41