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Section B Match
Directions£ºIn this section, you are going to read a passage with ten statements attached to it. Each statement contains information given in one of the paragraphs. Identify the paragraph from which the information is derived. You may choose a paragraph more than once. Each paragraph is marked with a letter.
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Investing in Yourself Socially
A Recently, I discussed the value of investing in yourself¡ªputting time and money into improving you, not building assets. Today, we'll look at one area of investing in yourself as part of an ongoing series on the topic. I'm a rather introverted (ÐÔ¸ñÄÚÏòµÄ) person. When I'm in a group of people, my instinct is to keep silence, be quiet, and sink into the woodwork (unless, of course, I'm very comfortable with most of the group). I'd just sit there, waiting for someone else to talk and quite often not engaging at all. This antisocial (²»ºÏȺµÄ) streak was hindering me, and I knew it. A large group of friends and associates are unbelievably valuable to have¡ªthey can provide support to you in countless ways and you can provide support back to them as well. By sitting there, silent and silly, boring and dull, not only was I not actively working towards building friendships and relationships, I was actually sending off a negative message to people.
B There were two books that really turned things around for me: Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People and Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone. These books actually have a lot in common¡ªthey both focus on how exactly to effectively interact with other people. Carnegie's book focuses on the actual interactions themselves¡ªhow do you actually step up and converse with someone? Ferrazzi's book continues that thought¡ªhow do you build a conversation into a relationship that has value? They're both filled with very specific tips that you can start applying right off the bat.
C Here are some direct actions you can take to start investing in building a network of friends and acquaintances that actually have value, both to you and to the person you're connected to. The first step is to simply meet people with whom you have some interests in common. Identify social activities which you are interested in. Like reading books? Join a book club. Like outdoor activities? Join an outdoor club. Curious about the community? Go to any sort of community activity¡ªcheck at city hall for the community calendar. Confused with your career? Go to meetings and conventions related to your professional area. Join Meetups for any activity of interest to you. Most large cities offer a lot of opportunity to explore whatever interest you may have.
D Don't give up on it after just one meeting. The biggest mistake that people make when joining a potentially interesting group is that they give up when they go to the first meeting, the people there already seem to know each other, and there are ongoing things that they're not familiar with. Give it a few meetings. Ask questions if you don't know what's going on. Don't just assume that you'll immediately be part of any ongoing social circle in this group¡ªgive it time to happen.
E The most effective way I've found to get a conversation going or to continue it is to get a person to talk about themselves. The easiest way to pull off that trick is to ask a question¡ªcreate a situation where it makes social sense for that person to begin discussing themselves. Ask a question that the person would feel comfortable answering. If you're in a book club, questions about the book you're reading are always fair game. If they've brought up their children or family, positive questions about that topic are fair, too. In general, questions that are positive in tone and aren't too personal are always worthwhile. Compliment someone, for example, and ask where they got that item or idea.
F Try to understand their viewpoint and experiences¡ªthey're going to be different from your own. If you find yourself getting bored, then you're either discussing a topic that truly doesn't interest you or you're not clicking with that person, which is fine, but the first step to a positive connection is to listen to what they say and try to figure out what they mean.
G Use the responses for follow-up questions if you don't have a compelling idea of your own to interject (²å×ì). If you don't know how to respond to what they've just said, figure out the part that's troubling you and turn it into a question again, allowing them to explain further. It not only clearly shows that you're listening and are engaged, but it gives the person a greater chance to expound their thoughts in a positive light.
H All those who are talking to you don't necessarily interest you. Listen to who's talking and
figure out which people are actually interesting to you. When you see people standing alone and not talking, talk to them. When there's a group talking, listen in. Spend some time interacting with as many people as you can. Move yourself gradually towards the people you find most interesting. Keep conversing with the people that click with you. Don't be afraid to move on if they exhibit behaviors that make you uncomfortable.
I If you've actually traded contact information with someone in a genuine fashion, meaning that it was because of a desire to actually further exchange ideas, follow up. Don't just let it dry there on the vine. Then make a contact. I usually find that for most people, a follow-up email is worthwhile. I try to recall what we've talked about (I usually write it down on the back of whatever contact info I get), do some research on the topic, and continue the conversation in some regard. I always make sure to include a reminder of who I am as well, usually starting it off that way (\discussed some changes in the town's sidewalk policy...\
J Once you've built a connection with someone, don't let it fall apart because you're too busy. It only takes a few minutes every once in a while to keep a relationship healthy, so take the time to do it. The real key, though, is to build a solid number of meaningful relationships and friendships and make sure they don't wither¡ªthese are the people who you support and will support you when you need it. The first step is up to you.
46.Focus on the people that interest you, and don't hesitate to leave those you don't like. H ÕýÈ·´ð°¸Îª£ºH
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48.The two books are so practical that you can use the tips given in the books immediately after you read them. B ÕýÈ·´ð°¸Îª£ºB
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49.You need to go to meet the same group of people several times in order to build a network of friends. D ÕýÈ·´ð°¸Îª£ºD
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50.One knows clearly that he needs his friends in many ways, and vice versa, although he doesn't enjoy talking much in a group. A ÕýÈ·´ð°¸Îª£ºA
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