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real pension so they can get a little extra welfare money.

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Or, they tell the caseworker that the landlord raised the rent by a hundred dollars.

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I have opted to live a life of complete honesty.

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So instead, I go out and drum up some business and draw cartoons.

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I even tell welfare how much I make!

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Oh, I'm tempted to get paid under the table.

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But even if I yielded to that temptation, big magazines are not going to get involved in some sticky situation.

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They keep my records, and that information goes right into the government's computer.

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Very high-profile.

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As a welfare client I'm expected to bow before the caseworker.

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Deep down, caseworkers know that they are being made fools of by many of their clients, and they feel they are entitled to have clients bow to them as compensation. I'm not being bitter.

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Most caseworkers begin as college-educated liberals with high ideals.

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Not long after Christmas last year, Suzanne came to inspect my apartment and saw some new posters pasted on the wall.

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\you'd better have a receipt for it, by God. You have to report any donations or gifts.\

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This was my cue to beg.

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Instead, I talked back.

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\that \

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Suzanne tries to lecture me about repairs to my wheelchair, which is always breaking down because welfare won't spend money maintaining it properly.

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\know, Mr. Callahan, I've heard that you put a lot more miles on that wheelchair than average.\

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Of course I do.

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I'm an active worker, not a vegetable.

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I live near downtown, so I can get around in a wheelchair.

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I wonder what she'd think if she suddenly broke her <19>hip and had to <20>crawl to work.

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