Keys:
1. The player lost his balance, staggered back and toppled over. 这个运动员失去了平衡,向后趔趄摔倒了。
2. She slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the window. 她溜下床,踮起脚尖走向窗户。3. The minion made a rush for the door and escaped from the scene. 小黄人向门冲去,逃离了现场。
人的说话方式”细节描述
说话的方式多种多样,如果都用talk就显得索然无味,也不够准确,所以要多积累各种各样的表达。 1、说长道短;八卦
________________________________________ 2、小声咕哝
________________________________________ 3、嚎叫
________________________________________ (答案见底部) Keys:
1. The whole company is gossiping about the reason for his dismissal. 整个公司都在谈论他被免职的原因。
2. He murmured against the strict rules of the reality show. 他私下低声抱怨真人秀的严苛规则。 3. Treated so unfairly, she howled in pain and anger. 被如此不公正地对待,她痛苦而又愤怒的嚎叫。
细节描述之“思考”
如何表达一个人暗自思索时的样子对学生来说是很困难的,大多数情况下,学生往往会选择避开,但是,人无时无刻不在思考,强行避开会使得故事内容上有些不衔接。所以,今天我们就一起来学习一下如何表达一个人的思考神态。
1. 得知问题所在之后,他的大脑开始急速运转,想要想出一个好的解决方案。 ________________________________________________ 2. 独自一人时,他总是会想到那可怕的经历。 ________________________________________________ 3. 在他洗澡时,突然想到了一个好主意。
________________________________________________ (答案见底部)
Keys:
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1. After he knew what the problem was, his mind began to race, trying to think of a good solution. (大脑飞速运转)
2. When left alone, he would always be haunted by that horrible experience. ([不好的回忆]萦绕心头挥之不去)
3. When he was taking a shower, a brilliant idea suddenly crossed his mind . (突然闪过某人的脑海)
细节描述之“describe a peaceful scene”
今天,我们来看看该如何描述安静祥和的场景。 1. 享受阳光
__________________________________________ 2. 山间有小屋和田地
__________________________________________ 3. 入暮时分,芦苇随风飘扬
__________________________________________ (答案见底部)
Keys:
1. When I was bathed in the sunlight, it felt like the amber-like sunshine was kissing every inch of my skin. (沐浴在阳光下;琥珀色的阳光亲吻着全身的肌肤) 2. Mist-covered mountains were dotted with small farms and villages. (点缀着) 3. The sound of my footsteps was accompanied only by the gracefully waving reeds. (优雅地随风飘扬的芦苇)
细节描述之“describe stormy weather”
今天,我们来看看该如何描述风雨交加的天气。 1. 乌云密布
__________________________________________ 2. 劲风恶浪肆虐
__________________________________________ 3. 暴雨疾风
__________________________________________ (答案见底部) Keys:
1. The sky is overcast, darkened with gloomy clouds.(乌云密布;黑云压顶)
2. On that dark and stormy night, the waves were crashing and the winds were howling. (海浪肆意拍打;劲风咆哮)
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3. The rain came pouring down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house. (暴风骤雨)
读后续写对话中的常见误区
1 废话连篇,无助推动情节发展,刻画人物性格。 “Hey, how are you?” “I’m fine, how are you?” “How is the weather?” “Terrific! Nice day for a walk, isn’t it?” 评析:这样的对话在现实生活中很真实,但是小说毕竟是艺术加工,无助情节推动的,不能刻画人物性格的日常寒暄和偏离文章主线的对话绝对不用。
2追求花哨,过度使用对话标签dialogue tags “That is fantastic news,” he said happily. 评析:此句中完全没有必要加上一个happily来表达说的方式,因为句中的fantastic一词足以说明说话人了表情,过度强调dialogue tags 会让读者的注意力集中在“说话的方式”而不是“说话的内容”。
建议改为:“That is fantastic news!” he said/screamed/exclaimed. (一个感叹号和一个fantastic已经足以让读者想象当时的情景。适当的“艺术留白”也是需要的,这样会留给读者想象的空间。
还有一种避免过度的dialogue tags的方法是运用“动作描写”来取而代之。
如:Her eyes reflected the candlelight as she smiled at her son.“Everyone is unique. Just follow your heart and be yourself!”
3 用词不当,错误使用对话标签dialogue tags \\评析:以上两句话也是我在大量的学生习作甚至是范文中发现的。这里把动作描写和dialogue tags 混淆了,试想谁能gasp(喘息)、chuckle(轻笑)出一句话?除非他或她有特异功能。 纠正方法如下:
\,\said with a gasp. (Question tag+ with介词短语)
Emma gasped. \ (动作描写+句号)
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\.\ Emma gasped. (对话句断+动作描写)
\!\Henry chuckled. (感叹句结束+动作描写)
\,\said, chuckling. (Question tag+ 分词做伴随状况) 请特别关注以上对话的标点。
4 多此一举,对话对象十分明确,仍使用对话标签 “I told you already,” I said, glaring. 评析:此句貌似豪华,其实对话中的主语“I”已经清晰地说明了说话者,完全没有必要用question tag“I said” 来说明说话对象。纠正方法:加上一点动作描写就可以避免这种错误,并且提升语言的生动性。
I glared at him. “I told you already.” 5频用副词,词汇贫乏 只会tell 不会show
“How can you do this?”she said angrily,looking at me furiously. 评析:此句也是貌似“高大上”,使用了大量副词,并且套用了分词做伴随的句型。任何方面都有度,过之而不及。过度堆砌辞藻会让人生厌,过度使用副词也会让阅卷老师觉得你词汇贫乏,非得用副词才能表达出来。 2大纠正办法:
1)积累相关的 show 的词汇来避免过度使用副词
2)穿插动作描写辅助对话,刻画人物心情 试比较以下两句:
“That’s not what you said yesterday,” she said, her voice implying she was withdrawing. “That’s not what you said yesterday.” She hesitated, turned and walked to the window. 评析:两句话粗看都是相当不错。无论从词汇和语法结构的使用似乎都属于上乘之作。但细细琢磨下面这句反而更高一筹。原因是,第一句用了imply 和withdraw 两词来tell说话者she的心情,而第二句hesitate 和后面的动作描写让她的犹豫心情跃然纸上。小说故事要的就是这种show的方式。
分析对话实例,揭示对话秘诀
Example 1
原文内容:作者爸爸在阳台种植康乃馨,悉心呵护,作者一家都非常喜欢这些花。爸妈再三
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