off and set out to fly from his courtyard. I dialed his number in the directory trying to ring him back, but never got through.

Merciful God blessing, an abrupt freezing rainfall made his powder wet. Luckily, the trouble was without any extension except that he crashed into a greengrocer’s making all the ripe fruits become messy jam. When people seized this crazy man with caution and sobered him by tapping his face, he complained about the bad weather instead of associating his failure with his unscientific design.

从法院人事部辞职后，我开始在现在的专利局工作。我工作起来既称职又有活力，在投身于根据新版的申请标准鉴定专利申请，以防他们无效或不实用时，我从未感觉到消极没劲

为了显示与众不同，时不时就有人违反常规，向我们提交一些奇怪的产品申请，例如固定在前额的信号灯、立方体的胡桃、用稻草和胶水制作的冰箱、没人能受得了的香水等。

有一次，有个人用不锈钢丝和绳子制作了一架三角形的直升飞机。他致电给我们，高兴地声称其确实牢固，而且方便使用，从不发生故障。我请他稍等，但这个天真的人挂了电话就开始从院子里起飞。我拨打他在电话簿上的号码试图回电给他，却无法接通。

仁慈的上帝保佑，一场突然降临的冻雨打湿了他的火药，使他造成的麻烦没有扩大，只是撞入一间水果店，把所有成熟的水果都压成一塌糊涂的果酱。当人们小心地抓住这个失去理智的人，轻轻拍打他的脸使他清醒过来时，他还在抱怨糟糕的坏天气，却没有将他的失败与他不科学的设计联系起来。

39. Pronunciation and Status

口音与身份

An ambassador and a referee were consulting a professor on the caption of a Buddhistic alphabet when a sobbing woman stopped them to sell an antique musical bathtub. Her dirty garment and the handkerchief around her waist were badly in need of sending to a laundry. The ambassador uncomfortably gave her a handful of pence from his wallet and said, “Take this fortune away, troublesome woman.”

When her figure faded away, the brilliant professor said, “You are mistaken and your improper remark on her should be condemned. In terms of this extraordinary woman, you can’t classify her status by her horrible clothes or disgusting nails. Her clean woolen vest and stockings, especially her classic pronunciation, all suggested her upper status.” The ambassador gave a whistle in amazement, and advised making her acquaintance. The professor hesitated for a while, then compromised.

The outcome was that she was an authentic superior police officer. When they were shown in her office and saw her once more, she brought them a teapot of tea and some cookies, laughing and saying, “I rubbed some cream and wax on my garment and passed myself off as a shabby woman among thieves and robbers to investigate a plot. Generally speaking, your overlooking me and my adaptation are the best help. But my pronunciation seemed to have betrayed me.”

一位大使和一位裁判正在就一张佛教符号表的文字说明请教教授，这时，一名哭哭啼啼的女人把他们拦住，要卖给他们一个古董音乐澡盆，她肮脏的衣服和腰间的手帕都急需送到洗衣店清洗。大使很不舒服地从钱包里掏出一把便士说：“把这大笔钱拿走，麻烦的女人！”

等她的身影渐渐远去，那位才华横溢的教授说：“你错了，你对她不适当的评论语应该受到谴责。就这个不同寻常的女人来说，你不能根据她糟糕的衣服或令人恶心的指甲给她的身份地位分类。她干净的羊毛背心和袜子，尤其是她一流的发音，都暗示着她的上层身份。”大使惊奇地吹了声口哨，建议去认识她。教授犹豫了一会儿，最后妥协了。

结果呢，她真的是一位高级警官。当他们被带进她的办公室再次见到她时，她给他们拿来一壶茶和一些饼干，笑着说：“我把奶油和蜡涂在大衣上假扮成寒酸肮脏的女人混进在小偷和抢劫犯中间，是为了调查一宗阴谋。通常说来，你们对我的忽视和我对此的适应就是最好的帮助。但是我的发音似乎暴露了我啊。”

40. A Sly Murder 一宗狡猾的谋杀案

When giving a lecture about the significance of punctuation, the academic professor was interrupted and arrested by the police for murdering his wife, a receptionist of a kindergarten. The police found some photos he deleted from their e-album showing that they used to have a gay life. But, fed up with her wrinkled face, he murdered her instead of divorcing her to avoid fortune division. He cut up a kind of seashell with a sharpened knife, and hammered it into powder on a skateboard, and made at most one gram, which was enough to accelerate

one’s pulse until he or she dies. This kind of poison can date back to 10,000 BC when people rubbed it on spears to kill beasts. The professor mixed the poison with onion, watermelon and yogurt for his wife. Howling and scratching her chest, she felt dizzy and died soon.

After tentative examination, the police assumed she died of heart disease. But systematic botanical

analyses showed that the watermelon spit on the messy mat and the quilt was poisonous. Regardless of exhaustion and starvation, the acute and skilful policemen used radioactive equipment to make sure the category of the poison. Primitive and not ample as their alternative equipment was, they got perfect accuracy somehow.

People applauded the police and the woman’s family can look ahead with relief now.

那位学院的教授在发表关于标点符号重要意义的演讲时被警察打断了，他因谋杀自己的妻子——一位幼儿园的接待员——而被逮捕。警察找到了一些被他从电子相册里删除的照片，照片表明，他们曾经有过快乐的生活，但是，因为厌烦了妻子起皱的脸，他杀死她而不是和她离婚以避免离婚时的财产分割。他用一把磨利的小刀切碎一种贝壳，然后在滑板上锤打成粉末，最多1克就足以加速人的脉搏直到其死亡。这种毒药可以追溯到公元前10，000年，当时它就被涂抹在长予上杀死野兽。教授把这种毒药混合在洋葱、西瓜和酸奶里给他的妻子，后者叫喊、抓挠胸口、头晕目眩，很快就死了。

在初步检查之后，警察设想她是死于心脏病。但是系统的植物学分析却表明，吐在凌乱的席子和被子上的西瓜有毒。敏锐而又技术娴熟的警察不顾疲劳和饥饿，用放射性的设备确定了毒素的种类。尽管可供选择的设备原始，且数量不足，他们还是设法取得了完美的准确度。