people feel uncomfortable and alone, that?s why the world is filled with TV?s that have been left on when nobody is watching it, for background noise.
We turn our thoughts and focus inwards and gain the power we need to refuel our minds. Our ego is temporarily switched off or at least made to be quiet for a bit, and we start to see the real world as it should be. Our thoughts get in the way of our reality sometimes and we don?t see the beauty of the world around us. When there is silence there is time for introspection and to allow your true self to speak, not the ego, not the conscious mind but the true self connected to the flow of energy around us.
1. During arguments. One of the best times to use the power of silence is during an argument is to stay silent. The ego will be trying to force its way out of you and finish the argument but you are the controller, not the ego. When someone is shouting at you, looking for an argument or just picking on you can literally take all the power away from them and keep all your energy by simply looking at them and saying absolutely nothing. This is extremely difficult to do but very powerful.
2. Gossiping. When there is a crowd of people in the workplace there are gossipers who speak about other people. The thing with gossiping is that it is contagious. When we don?t like someone and someone else starts speaking about them we naturally tend to voice our opinion, I?ve done it lots of times and have to stop myself.
Try and stop yourself from catching the virus of gossiping and use the power of silent whenever it occurs. If you are a gossiper yourself and people around start to notice that you are ?not your usual self?, don?t give an explanation just leave saying you?ve got work to do or whatever, pretty soon you?ll be out of the gossiping loop.
3. When someone is talking. Silence is a great tool for counselors if used in the right way. It?s also great when listening to friends and family.
Just let people talk and listen to them and use your facial expressions and movements to
acknowledge that you are listening. This can be a tough thing to do but extremely powerful for both you, as the listener, and the talker.
You will find that as you practice this, more people come to talk to you as you will be known as a listener. Obviously there are times to speak during the conversation, however when you do, make sure it is to paraphrase what the talker is saying or asking questions to get more information, don?t make it about yourself.
When people want to know more about you they will ask you questions, this is the time to talk about yourself but always have the listener be part of the conversation.
4. When the house is empty. The silence of the home can be quite disturbing to some people as there is a natural need to fill the void of silence. We turn on the radio, play some music, call friends or family, or turn on the TV to fill this void. Having a completely silent home when you are alone does not mean you are alone it simply means you are recharging your mind and giving it some downtime.
Silence helps us to work through, in our minds, the events of the day or project what we want to happen during the day ahead. I am a night owl and also a morning lark. I love the silence when I know everyone is safe and tucked up in bed and I can write or work on the computer. At the weekends I go to bed with my wife to talk about days events or our plans and just have a laugh or whatever. My wife, who loves her sleep, has gone to sleep I kiss her goodnight and get up for a few hours to write as this is the time I am most inspired. I am also the first person up in the morning which means I have another 2 hours to write or work on my online projects.
I know it?s harder when you are alone, however silent time can be used to think about the life you want and work out ways to get it.
5. Quiet reflection. This is a fantastic way to connect with world in a way that is not possible when you are surrounded by hubbub noise. 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes in the evening simply focusing on your breath can do wonders for both mind and body. I truly believe that with practice quiet reflection can help us reach a level of deep inner calm.
The state of silence is a way of reaching another part of your mind not possible when going about your daily routine. This other part of your mind is connected in every way to the world around you and with practice you can tap into this knowledge.
沉默的力量
发布时间:2011-12-20 文章出自:译言 原文链接:点击查看
沉默有一种其他来源没有的力量。它有一种使人们思考并且付诸行动的力量,它可以使人们的大脑冷静下来,它像是一种对生活咨询和指导的能量来源。
沉默有一种其他来源没有的力量。它有一种使人们思考并且付诸行动的力量,它可以使人们的大脑冷静下来,它像是一种对生活咨询和指导的能量来源。
关于沉默的一点问题是很多人觉得有必要用好不意义的聊天、看电视、听音乐这些方法来避免沉默。沉默让人变得不安,让人觉得孤独和不舒服,所以即使没有人看电视,电视也会是开着的,就是为了要有背景声音。
当沉默出现时,会发生什么?
我们更关心我们内心的感受,重新获得大脑所需的能量。我们的自我意识暂时被关掉,至少程度减少了一些,我们开始看到现实世界原本的样子。我们的思想有时会阻碍我们看清现实,这使我们忽视了我们所置身的这个美丽的世界。沉默的出现使我们有时间自省,也可以唤醒真实的你,不是自我意识,不是清醒的头脑,而是那个和我们周围的一切所联系在一起的那个真实的你自己。
5个使用沉默的方法
1、在吵架时。 一个最佳的时间来使用沉默就是在一个争吵的过程中。你的自我意识会在这个时候试图出现并且结束这次争吵,但是你是掌控者,并不是你的自我意思。当一个人在对你叫喊时,想要挑起争吵时,你只要看着他们的眼睛,不说任何话就可以简单的把他们的焰气浇灭。这很难做到,但确实很有效。
2、传播流言蜚语。 在单位有一群人在八卦他人的私事时可以利用沉默来应对。传播的这些流言蜚语是会蔓延的。当他人在谈论我们不喜欢的人时,我们自己会忍不住发表自己的观点,我以前也这样做过很多次,但是我必须停止。
试图让自己不要和他人一样传播流言蜚语,当它发生时,利用沉默来应对。如果你自己也是个传播流言的人,当你停止这样做时,周围的人会发现你不是“平常的那个你”了,不要对他们解释,只需要对他们说你有工作要做或者别的什么借口,很快你就会退出传播流言的这个圈子了。
3、当有人在说话时。 对心理医生来说,如果使用得当,沉默会是一个很好的工具。倾听朋友和家人的倾诉也是一件很好的事。
让他人说话,你来倾听,并且使用你的面部表情和动作来告诉他们你在听。这也许不是件容易的事,但对你们,一个倾诉者和一个倾听者来说都是好事。
当你这样做了一段时间后,你会发现很多人会来找你倾诉,很快你就会被他人认为是一位很好的倾听者。很显然,在对话时也有说话的机会,但是当你在说话时,注意是围绕说话的人的主题或是问问题来更加了解主题,不要让你自己成为谈话的主角。
一个人会问你更多的问题来进一步了解你,这是谈论你自己的时间,但是要时刻注意使听者也成为这个谈话的参与者。
4、当房子里没有人的时候。 家里的沉默对一些人来说是一种困扰,他们需要声音来填充沉默。我们打开收音机,播放音乐,给朋友或家人打电话,或是打开电视机来填补沉默。当你独自一人在家时,完全的安静并不能证明你很孤独,只能说明你在思考问题,给自己的大脑放松的机会。