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以前坎迪斯·布赖青肯的未来似乎是一片光明。作为一名25岁的航班调度员,她刚生了一个宝宝,才换了份工作。然而有一天她开始不由自主地出血。诊断出是急性白血病,只有两个星期可活。震惊之余,她感到愤怒,我一直爱惜自己的身体,生活诚实,正派,迈阿密的布赖肯说“这种事情不应该发生在像我这样的人身上。
13、She reeled at the thought of her imminent death, and withdrew. “I just gave up,” she says. Then a doctor told her she needed to arrange for someone to care for her daughter. “How dare you tell me to find someone else to raise my child!” Bracken snapped. At that moment, she realized that she had strong reasons to fight for he life. Her anger, formerly crippling now sparked her. It helped see her through a harrowing, but ultimately successful, bone-marrow transplant.一想到死亡即将来临,她就感到心绪不宁,屈服了。我完全放弃了,她说。后来一个医生告诉她说她需要安排人照料她的女狼。“你竟敢让我找别人带大我的小孩!”布赖肯历声说。在那一刻,她意识到有充分的理由去为自己的生命而战。她的愤怒开始时极为有害,现在却鼓舞了她,帮助她渡过了痛彻心肺但最终成功的骨髓移植。
14、Face the Challeng. Another obstacle on the road to health after a significant loss can be denial. Instead of facing what has happened to them, says Dr. Michael Aronoff, psychiatrist and a spokesperson for the American Psychiatirc Association, many people “try to fill up that empty feeling looking for an escape.” The man who rarely touched a drink will
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begin hitting the bottle. A woman who watched her weight will overeat. Others, like me , try literally to “rn away.”勇敢地面对挑战。在经历重大打击之后,拒绝知我同样也是健康之路的重大障碍。迈克尔?阿若诺夫是个精神病医师,美国精神病协会的一名发言人。他说,很多人不是面对所发生的一切。而是“竭力填补空虚的感情假寻找一种解脱。”几乎滴酒不沾的男人会开始酗酒,担心肥胖的女性会吃得过多。其他一些人,像我一样,力图“一走子之”。
15、After working for bosses all his life, John Jankowski of Staten Island, N.Y., had always longed to have his own options and stock-trading firm. He finally got the start-up money and did well. Then came a downturn in business, and before long Jankowski was in serious financial trouble.为老板工作一辈子后,纽约史丹顿岛的约翰?简可夫斯基一直梦想有自己的选择和证券交易公司。他最终找到了启动金并经营顺利。接着生意急转直下,不久简可夫斯基就陷入严重的经济危机。
16、“It was like I’d run into a brick wall and my whole life had been shattered,” he says. With financial resources exhausted and the pressure of a family to support, Jankowski’s thoughts turned to escape.“就好像我迎头撞上一面砖墙,整个人生都被击得粉碎,”他说。经济来源耗尽,又有一个家庭需要供养,简可夫斯基开始想逃避。
17、One morning, while in a run,he just kept going. After jogging westward for two hours, he staggered back home. “It finally dawned on me that I couldn’t run away from my troubles. The only thing that made
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sense was to face up to my situation,” he says. “Admitting failure was the toughest part but I had to before I could get on with my life.”一天早上,在跑步的时候,他一直往前跑。在向西慢跑了两个小时之后,他步履蹒跚地回到家。“我终于明白不能逃离我的困境。唯一明智的事就是勇敢面对我的现状,”他说,“承认失败是困难的,但要想继续生活我必须得这么做。”
18、Get Out and Do! After a few weeks, I urge people recovering from loss to get back into a routine,”says psychiatrist and Boston University professor Bessel A.van der Kolk. “It’s important to force yourself to concentrate on things other than your hurt.” Cinsider these activities:走出门,做点事。“几周之后,我要求那些从打击中复原的人回到日常生活中去,”精神病医师,波士顿大学教授贝瑟?A?凡?库克说,“强迫自己把注意力集中到别的事情,而不是所受的伤害上,这一点至关重要。”考虑以下活动:
19、Join a support group. Once you’ve made the decision to “get on with life,” you’ll need someone to talk to –and the most effective kind of conversation can be with someone else who has undergone an ordeal.加入一个援助团体。一旦你决心“继续生活”,你会需要向人倾诉,最有效的是和其他有过痛苦经历的人交谈。
20、Read. When you can focus after the initial shock, reading, especially selfhelp books, can offer inspiration as well as relaxation.阅读。经历过最初的震惊之后,如果注意力可以集中,那就开始读书,尤其是有关自
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助的书,这将让你放松,同时也让你感到鼓舞。
21、Keep a journal. Many find comfort in creating an ongoing record of their experiences. At best it can serve as a kind of self-therapy.记日记。很多人发现纪录每天的经历让人感到安慰。日记甚至能起到自我治疗的作用。
22、Plan events. The idea that there are things to look forward to reinforces that you are forging ahead into a fresh future. Schedule that trip you’ve been postponing.做事有计划。有期待的事情,这一想法能增强你迈向全新未来的信息。将你过去推迟了的旅行重新写进时间表。
23、Learn new skills. Take a course at a community college, or take up a new hobby or sport. You have a new life ahead; any new skill will complement it.学习新的技术。在社区大学选修一门课,或是开始新的爱好或者运动。有全新的生活等着你,而任何新的技术都将使它更充实。
24、Reward yourself. During highly stressful times, even the simplest daily daily chores-getting up, showering, fixing something to eat- can seem daunting. Consider every accomplishment, no matter how small, a victory to be rewarded.奖励自己。在强压力之下,即使是最简单的日常琐事,如起床、洗澡,弄东西吃,都能使人气馁。每完成一件事,不管多么微小,都把它看作是一个值得稿劳自己的成就。
25、Exercise. Physical activity can be especially therapeutic. Therese
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